Saturday, July 11, 2015

Bootstraps and bicycles

It takes practice, and effort,  but can't you see? 
You need to apply,  be successful like me! 
You need to try harder,  and work longer hours, 
Just like us that grew up in ivory towers
Just grease up your elbows and get stuck on in
Underactive thyroid? Just will yourself thin! 
Just jump on your bike and go searching for work
While tugging your bootstraps - you don't want to shirk 
Your responsibility to work two more jobs
On zero hours contracts, you're not lazy slobs

The work it is out there,  just take it from me
Just keep looking harder,  and soon you will be
With graft and with effort,  with good honest sweat
Seeing less of your kids,  but you'll have no regrets
You'll teach them a lesson,  of what effort gets
A minimum wage that can't cover your rent
A pension that might pay if you don't die first
An old age still working,  to slack is the worst
A home that is cold - you're not active enough
You're just going soft,  need to be far more tough

Work hard till you're eighty, if then still alive
put off your retirement till age eighty-five 
And show all these youngsters what a work ethic is
Blame hardship on foreigners - they're taking the piss! 
Or those who get benefits - they're just idle scum
Watch Jeremy Kyle,  while scratching their bum
Just don't blame bosses who create the wealth
And kindly share some out -  no thought for their self
Benevolent heroes,  are our CEOs
They invest really hard,  so stay on your toes

They have to cut costs,  so sorry,  you're sacked
Just try harder next time, and it is a fact
That you could get rich, beyond your wildest dreams 
Your wallet so stuffed,  it'll burst at the seams
If we just make it cheaper,  to hire and to fire
If we break all the unions,  your pay will be higher
We'll just cut your wages,  for a few years just now
boost dividends this year but then we'll somehow 
Make you so much richer, in a few years hence
But sorry,  not next year,  it's too big an expense

Our poor shareholders need big dividends
On their confidence,  our country depends! 
So suffer for Britain,  for a few years more
Stop saying you're broke,  you dull left wing bore
It's all labour's fault,  nowt to do with the banks
bankers need their bonuses, so we pay them, with thanks
It's nothing to do with the rich, not at all
We must protect them, if their stocks fall
Our system is super, just look and see
Our system makes folk rich,  like my friends and me!

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